


The Love That Hurts The Most

by Coldandbroken



Category: youtube - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Possibly triggers(?), Self-Hatred, Slow Build, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-10 15:20:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 10,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5591275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coldandbroken/pseuds/Coldandbroken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark is getting closer and closer to his friend's broken heart, but by the time he breaks through, will he be prepared for the damage to Jack's heart? Will he even be able to save his friend?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fanfic! Hope you enjoy! Feel free to give feedback, but keep in mind, I'm writing this in the middle of the night and on my phone, so cut me some slack.

The water spouting from the shower head had long ago turned cold -freezing even- but Jack didn't care. The extreme temperatures of his showers was the only thing stopping him from using his razor blade and opening up a vein. It had become a regular thing for him to sit in the shower, allowing the two sides of his mind - the happy side that he showed when he was making videos, and the darker side that came out mainly when he was alone- to duke it out. Sometimes, the warfield that was his head would calm down enough for his mind to wander, like it was today.

As always, his mind wandered to Mark.

Jack had loved Mark for a long time, but he knew his feelings were unreturned, and they always would be. No matter what he did, he would always be longing for the ability to give soft kisses on the top of Mark's head; to cuddle up beside him for warmth on a cold night; to just be able to call Mark his.

Eventually, Jack got out, mainly because he needed to make videos. He set up all the stuff he needed, fixed his hair (although he didn't care) and started his video. 

After he was done, he edited it down. The quality probably wasn't as good as his usual ones, but he didn't care. Wait, scratch that, his usual quality has dropped a lot since he realized his feelings for his American, blue-haired friend. It was just he couldn't focus on anything for more than a little while. The more time passed, the more he fell for Mark. Jack loved him, and it was so sickeningly obvious, too. Most people could see the way Jack looked at Mark, how he could never really say no to his friend/crush, how he blushed when someone joked about them being "a thing", or how he got really quiet and would back out of the conversation when someone - more specifically Mark- mentions his love/dating life. Everyone could see it, everyone but Mark himself. But they all were nice enough to save him the embarrassment and not talk about it outwardly, but he caught their looks of pity and sympathy out of the corners of his eye or when Mark wasn't looking. And Jack's crush had become significantly harder to conceal when Jack moved to LA.

He sighed and shook his head, attempting to clear his mind. He decided to go to a nearby bar. A couple drinks couldn't hurt, right? Maybe getting laid would take his mind off of Mark, even if it was just for a little while. He stood up from his desk chair after hitting the upload button. He pulled on a jacket and shoes, grabbed his phone and wallet, and walked out of his home, closing the doors behind him. Once Jack got to his nearest bar, he sat down on a stool and ordered the strongest drink they had. After he downed that and two more he started to feel the buzz.

"Another one please." He said to the bartender. She was a pretty brunette with beautiful brown eyes. Her hair was had a streak of purple in it and held back in a pony tail. Her eyes were slightly Asian, which did NOT help take his mind off Mark.

The girl walked over and poured Jack a drink. "You drinking away your problems? What's got you down?" Amanda (that's what her name tag said anyways). 

"I fell fer someone who'll never love me back." He said, taking a swig of his drink.

The girl made a ticking noise with her tongue. "Yeah, that's gotta suck." Jack nodded and took another sip while Amanda continued speaking. 

"Well, she doesn't know what she's missing out on. You seem cute enough." She said pouring another glass.

Jack quickly corrected her. "It's, um, a-a guy." She shrugged her shoulders. "Well, he doesn't know what he's missing. I'm switching you to beer now; you're getting too drunk too fast." Jack whined a little, making the woman giggle "I think the 'friend zone' is a code word fer hell." He said, taking another drink from the beer bottle. 

After a couple minutes, the bartender went to help the other customers, leaving Jack alone. Even with all the alcohol running through his system, he didn't feel drunk. He just felt...empty. Except in his chest, which is the one place he wanted to stop hurting. 

Apparently, the universe has a grudge against Jack, because while on his second beer, a very familiar voice sounded out behind him. 

"Hey Jack! Didn't think I'd find you here." Jack could recognize Mark's voice anywhere. Jack gulped and slowly turned around. "H-Hey Mark. What 're you doin' here? You can't drink alcohol." He said tilting his head to the side. Mark sat down next to him and ordered a soda. Jack sat next to him and tried not to look at Mark too much, too often. After a few minutes of conversation, Mark excused himself to the bathroom. Once Mark was out of view, Jack let out a long, frustrated sigh. 

"Wow. It's a miracle he hasn't found out already. Are you even trying to hide it?" The bartender said. UsuallyJack would have a witty comeback, but he wasn't feeling it. 

"I know right. There's no way he doesn't know, this has been going on for years. You know what hurts the most?" He asked and Amanda shook her head. "He's never even said anything about it." Amanda whisled. "Ouch. That's kinda a dick move on his part. Do you think it's possible he doesn't know, that he's just that oblivious?" Jack snorted. "Doubtful." He said taking a drink of his beer. Amanda looked like she wanted to say more, but at that moment, Mark came back from the bathroom.

"Hey, I'm back." They continued their conversation where they had left off, Mark unknowing of the conversation Amanda and Jack had while he was gone. After nearly half an hour of talking about mundane things, a group of girls walked into the bar. They sat a little ways away from Mark and Jack, but still closer to them than Jack would've liked. The boys continued their conversation a tiny bit quieter now, but still as passionate. Throughout the conversation, Jack noticed one of the girls eyeing Mark. The more she did it, the more annoyed he became. But he quickly realized he had no right to be annoyed; Mark was straight and would probably go for it (if he even noticed). Jack sighed, deciding to be the bigger man and a good friend. 

"Hey Mark, I think that girl over there is checking you out. You should go for it. If you don't I think I might." He lied, trying to laugh, but it sounded forced to Jack. He tried to play it off cool on the outside, but inside, he was dying. Mark glanced behind him at the girl who was checking him out. He sighed while Mark wasn't looking. Mark looked back at Jack, then decided to walk over to the girl. He asked Amanda for more beer, looking at Mark be with another person hurt, more than he'd like to admit. 

"Why'd you do that? Don't you want to be with him? Why purposefully send him to someone else?" Amanda asked. "Because having him as a friend instead of lover is much better than not having him at all." Jack replied, taking a swig of his beer. Amanda and Jack stayed silent after that, Jack trying not to stare at Mark too much. After nearly 45 minutes Jack couldn't take it anymore. He threw a was of money on the counter and stumbled out if the bar towards his home. 

Whan he got home, he immediately jumped in his bed and passed out.


	2. Chapter 2

Jack woke up with a splitting headache, which was to be expected considering how much he had to drink the night before.

Memories of the night flooded back to him, mainly the thoughts of Mark and the girl he probably slept with. Just the thought of that sent a bad feeling through his body, even though he knew he didn't have any right to be feeling that.

He pushed the thoughts of Mark away and got out of his bed. He went into the bathroom. He purposefully took a shower last so he could try to have some Mark-free thoughts for a little while (it didn't work, but it was worth a shot).

After taking his shower and getting dressed, he shuffled to the kitchen and made himself breakfast. He nearly burnt the eggs and toast because of the pounding in his head and thoughts of Mark, but he managed to keep it edible. He took some Advil for his headache and sat down to check his phone. Apparently, Mark had left him a few texts after Jack left the bar.

8:25 M: Hey, you OK? You left pretty early.

8:27 M: Do you need any help? You were pretty drunk

8:39 M: Well, I'm leaving, call me in the morning

Jack immediately called Mark. It rang a couple times before Mark's rugged voice answered the phone.

"Hello?" He said. Jack fought down the wave of attraction that bubbled up to the surface.

"Hey, Mark. You told me to call you in th' morning an' now it's morning." he said and chuckled awkwardly. 

"Oh, hey Jack! How you doing?" Mark said, much cheerier than before. Jack gulped before answering.

"Well other than a massive fockin' hangover, just fine." Mark's deep laughter sounded from the phone.

"Yeah, you drank a lot last night." There was a pause in their conversation. "So, what's wrong? Usually people don't drink that much unless there's something on their mind." Mark asked. It was an innocent question, not meant to pry, but doing just that.

"W-what? What d-do you m-mean? I-I'm fine!" Jack said maybe a little bit too enthusiastically. It didn't matter, though, Mark could see straight through Jack. It was one of the many things he loved about Mark.

"Jack, I know you're lying." There was another pause, Mark waiting for Jack to say something. When he didn't, Mark spoke again. "Is it your ex?"

Jack froze up, even just mentioning her brought back memories of her, both good and bad. He had loved her, he really did, but she knew he loved Mark more. It had taken a while for her to understand how deeply Jack loved Mark, and Jack still had their fights engrained in his brain. Eventually, she understood and broke up with Jack, but as nicely as she could. She knew that Jack was already in a lot of pain, so she and Jack mutually agreed to break up. Jack never went into detail with anybody about why they broke up, he basically just said "Hey, we're over now, but we're on good terms, so it's fine".

"No, Mark, it's not her.I told you, we broke up on good terms." Jack said, letting out a sigh. "And even if we didn't, it isn't her."

"Then what is it then?" Mark pressed. Jack couldn't tell Mark. He knew Mark didn't feel the same, knew that he never would, so why ruin a perfectly good friendship by telling unrecipericated feelings. Having Mark as a friend was much better than not having him in his life at all.

"I-It's nothing, Mark. Everything's f-fine. D-don't worry a-about it." Jack said curtly. But Jack knew everything was not and will never be completely fine. Mark knew that to, but not to the same degree for the same reason. He knew that his friend was hurting and he'd be damned if he's gonna lose another friend to something he thought he could've helped with.

The pair put their thoughts, and in Jack's case, feelings, to the side and continued their conversation while Jack posted another video he had prepared up to his channel. He was running low on prepared videos, but he didn't want his fans - he didn't want anyone- to see him like this.

He had dark circles under his eyes and his eyes themselves were as vibrant as ever, but the fake smile he plastered onto his face never seemed to reach, the laughter he released never seemed to be as loud, his jokes never seemed to be as... fulfilling

Eventually, Mark ended the call. Jack had to fight the urge to tell Mark to wait and to just tell him everything, but the tone went flat and his moment was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's going to be much shorter than the others because I am incredibly busy at the moment. I'm sorry! Please don't kill me! So, expect new chapters soon-ish. Hope you enjoy!

The weeks following Jack and Mark's conversation were awkward at best. Mark knew Jack was lying about him being fine, and kept trying to talk to Jack about it, but every time he tried, Jack pushed him away harder and harder, which only served to show that something was wrong, and Mark couldn't but feel like it was his fault. He felt as if Jack was slipping through his fingers like he was trying to grab water. 

But it was way more awkward for Jack. No matter what he did, he couldn't get his friend out of his mind. With every passing moment, Jack could feel himself falling deeper and deeper in love with Mark. He also seemed to spend a lot more time at the local bars. He knew his friends and family were worried, and some of his fans had started noticing he seemed to be slightly drunk in his videos (which he was). 

A couple weeks after Mark's last phone call, Jack woke up with a headache, but he barely noticed it. The night before he had made up his mind; he was going to take a break from YouTube. He just couldn't handle the pressure of balancing his normal YouTube stuff, his feelings for Mark and his new drinking addic- habit. The last one should probably have been the one he had taken a break from, but it was the only thing that made his emotional pain seem less sharp. He set up his camera, took a deep breath nod and started the video. He didn't even bother with his usual intro, he just started it with a simple; 

"Hey guys, My name is Jacksepticeye. Um, this is kinda hard to do. Let's just get to the point." He sighed and looked away towards the ground for a second. "I need a break. I just - I can't-" he took another shaky breath. "I just have some stuff I need to work out and stuff I need to do. I don't know how long my break will last, but I hope you guys will understand. I'll see you guys whenever my next video is up. Goodbye." _________________________________ 

Mark stared at the screen in awe. He blinked a couple times, allowing his brain to process the new information. This was bad, very, VERY bad. If the Irish youtuber was taking a break, this was much more serious than he thought. He needed to do something quickly. He snatched up his keys, wallet and phone before rushing out towards his car, his mind set on Jack's house as his destination.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I managed to find time in my schedule and work through my laziness to write this. I also feel bad for not writing this in so long. Enjoy!

Mark had jumped into his car as fast as he could once he saw the new video; Jack would never have taken a break out of the blue like this, especially with no clear reason as to why he did. Mark was split between wanting to rush over to his friend (whether he needed help or not), and behaving like a rational adult and calmly talking to Jack.

He tried to get to the apartment as fast as he could, even going over the speed limit a little, but even he in this desperate time, could get out of traffic. After sitting behind a blue truck for what felt like forever, he finally decided to just call Jack. It didn't even ring twice before Jack picked it up.

"H-hello? Who is th-this?" Jack sounded so overwhelmed and... broken. It pained Mark to hear the other man like that. "Hey, Jack. What, don't you have caller ID?" Mark said, trying to lighten the already somber mood of the call. He heard an obviously forced chuckle from Jack's end of the phone. "Hey, Mark. Why are you calling?" Jack asked. It was a stupid question and they both knew it. 

"What am I calling about? C'mon Jack. You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Mark said exclaimed. He heard a lengthy sigh from Jack, followed by a gulp. 

"I-It's nothing for y-you to worry about, Mark. I j-just needed a break." Mark chose to ignore how Jack's voice cracked in the middle of his sentence. He could feel himself filling with frustration already at the way this conversation was turning out. 

"BULLSHIT! You're obviously stressed out about something. You have been for a while and I don't know why you haven't just told me already. I thought we were supposed to be friends! But you clearly have shown you don't trust me enough to try and help you." Mark snapped. He finally proclaimed his feelings that had been building up the last weeks. He was stuck in traffic, wanting so bad to have this conversation face to face. "Why can't you just tell me what it is and maybe I can help you!" 

"Help me? HELP me?! How can you ever HELP me when you can't possibly know how I feel?! You will never and have never cared enough to even TRY to help me before now. So, you know what? YOU CAN JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF. You'll NEVER care as much as I care about you, so save your fucking breath and stop caring now before one of us gets hurt." Mark sat, shocked by Jack's sudden outburst. He heard sniffling on the other side. Before he could speak, however, Jack piped up again. It was so quiet, He struggled to hear what his obviously hurting friend said. 

"Please, Mark. Just... Don't talk to me again. It hurts too much." And before Mark could respond Jack ended the call. Mark mindlessly drove around, no longer planning on going to Jack's house. Jack made it clear he didn't want to see him again. He eventually pulled up to a park and got out of his car to go sit at a bench. He needed to think. What had Jack meant by he didn't care? Why couldn't Jack allow him to help? What could possibly be going on in Jack's head right now? 

Mark pulled out his phone and called Jack again. And again. And again. And four more times. Mark let out a sound somewhere between a sob, a trowel and a sigh. Only after 45 minutes of sitting and stewing in his own emotions did he finally cry. Only then did it sink in. 

He just lost one of his best friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Expect a new chapter every Saturday from now on. That is, unless something major happens in my life. I will try to stay motivated, as well, but I am a master procrastinator and professional lazy person, so don't be afraid to comment to keep me motivated!


	5. Chapter 5

Jack sat... Well, Jack didn't even know where he was right now. He had been crying on his bed for a while, but somehow ended up on the floor, then he needed to puke, so he went to the bathroom and after that, he lost track of where he moved to. But it didn't matter where Jack was at the moment, nor did he care. All he could focus on we're his thoughts of Mark. He wished he could go back. He didn't want to lose his friend, that's why he couldn't tell Mark. He knew that Mark would've taken it as "it's your fault" rather than "your awesome and I love you, an that's the problem. But not that it mattered now, Mark probably hated his guts now. Why did he have to be so fucking stupid?

He forced the thoughts of his (admittedly huge) mistake out of his head, but they were filled with different, happier memories of Mark. Like all the games they played together, and the first time they met in real life and all the other times he has ever been with the American youtuber. He thought about Mark's amazing voice; the one that sent shivers down his spine like someone had opened a window during the winter. He thought about Mark's floofy hair, how amazing he smelled (yes, Jack knew how creepy that was, but he couldn't help thinking that), how much he wanted to kiss him and hold him and be held by him and do everything normal couples do.

But he and Mark could never be like that. Mark could never feel the same as Jack did. To Jack, Mark was everything, but to Mark, Jack was nothing but a friend. And that's all he ever would be. Jack felt anger bubble up from his chest, but burst it instantly. After all, it wasn't Mark's fault he didn't love Jack. You don't get to choose who you fall for, Jack knew this very well.

He felt another lurch in his stomach at these thoughts and knew he was about to puke again. He crawled back to the bathroom (apparently he was in the kitchen; he vaguely remembered thinking of grabbing something, but didn't know what). He rested his head against the cool porcelain once he was done heaving and was left gasping for breath.

He sat there, just absorbing everything. Who would've thought that the great Jacksepticeye would be here; forehead against a toilet bowl, wallowing in his anger and stewing in pity and self-hatred. If he were a cartoon he would've had his heart split in half, but this was real life, so it only felt that way. He somehow moved back to his bed andcurled up into the fetal position.

There was one thing that he mainly angry at himself for; he hadn't even told Mark about his feelings, yet he was  _still_ able to push Mark away. He didn't even need his not-so-secret secret feelings to make Mark hate Jack. The more Jack thought about it, the more angry and sad he became until he felt like a big water balloon full of all of his feelings. Getting annoyed with his phone's constant blaring from calls and notifications, he chucked it across the room. It hit the wall, a crack echoing through the room, but the ringing didn't stop. Still, he closed his eyes for what he wished was the final time, and fell asleep to the ringing of his phone.

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Mark had long ago retired to his home. He had been attempting to call Jack for hours, but to no avail. He had debated between going over to his house but he decided against it. Jack didn't want to see anybody, the worried calls from Jack and Mark's friends told him that, and he couldn't help but feel guilty. 

He had delt with losing people close to him before, but nothing like this. This pain was only rivaled by the death of his father. It felt as if his heart was being ripped apart, but crushed. It felt like his lungs didn't have enough oxygen, yet if he took another breath he would explode. He felt like he was on fire and freezing, like everything was going way too slow but too fast at the same time. There were too many thoughts in his head, yet at the same time, not enough. It didn't matter what was actually in his head right now, all he could catch were stray memories of an adorable smile, small echoes of a laugh, flashes of vibrant eyes, all belonging to the one person that could make him feel better. The one person he wanted to feel beside him. 

He wanted Jack. 

But, of course, he had to be a gigantic idiot and ruin a perfectly good friendship and he had no one to blame but himself. He had pressed to hard on a touchy subject for Jack and had let his curiousity push him over the line. It hadn't even been a day since their falling out, and yet, here he was, laying on his bed that felt as hard as a rock, trying to fight off his feelings of loneliness and emptiness and trying to clear out his love that would never be returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I nearly forgot that it was Saturday, so you almost didn't get a chapter. Today was also one of the rare days where I am both inspired and motivated, so I took advantage of that as well. Hope you enjoy!


	6. Chapter 6

Jack's eyes fluttered open, then slammed them shut again moments later. For a brief millisecond, he forgot; about hisfalling out with his best friend and crush, his virtual quitting of YouTube, and the idea he got from the nightmares he had in the hours of sleep sandwiched by insomnia the whole night. He was at peace, which he hadn't thought he would feel for the ret of his, hopefully, short life. 

Then it all came crashing down around him, forcefully pulling him out of the short, blissful illusion. Before he could stop it, a choked sob escaped his throat. The idea he had didn't sound so bad now and the parts that were doubting it seemed to be quieting down. He spent the next few hours planning and writing, perfecting everything while crying like a baby, but no matter what he wrote or who he wrote to, he couldn't get his mind off of Mark. 

A little while later, he finished the letters to everyone he needed to, except Mark. Jack needed to talk to him personally before he followed through with killing himself. He just didn't know what to say to Mark; he didn't even know if Mark would even want to talk to him. In all honesty, Mark probably never wanted anything to do with Jack anymore. Jack had fucked Up the chances of that ever happening. 

After nearly 45 minutes, Jack finished his letters to everyone. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes letting both his nervousness and contentedness wash over him surfing waves of heartbreak. Jack broke out of his head and grabbed his jacket and phone before heading out of his home. He avoided looking at anyone while walking down the sidewalks. Not that anyone wanted to look at him; they seemed to sense his state of mind and steered clear. He just stared down at his feet, thinking. He thought about the people that might possibly miss him. Some of his family he kept in touch with. The ones he didn't were either too busy or mad at him for moving so far away. And even the members he talked to were annoyed at him for not calling in months. Moving on from his family, he turned to his friends. Most of them would get over his death, some might be relieved to be rid of such a burden. Next was his fans. They didn't know Jack personally; their lives would carry on and most of them would probably migrate to one of his friends' channels. They probably deserved the subscribers more than Jack did. 

Jack turned a corner and saw he was getting closer to his destination; a bridge. He went there sometimes if his depr- sadness got too much to deal with. If he had worn the mask of his happiness for a little too long. He was a little bit angry at people for not knowing how he felt. If they had just looked closer at him they could see how his smile didn't quite reach his eyes, or his laugh had a very slight tinge of fakeness to it, or how when no one was looking he would drop the smile instantly and the look of sadness would return home, even if it was just for a second. Except when he was around Mark. 

The thought wormed its way into his mind and, of course, brought with it all sorts of thoughts about Mark that made Jack infinitely more sad. Part of him wondered how he could ever leave someone like Mark, but he swiftly squashed that thought like an insect. Mark didn't want Jack, he never would. Not even as a friend; Jack had made sure to mess that up too, just like he always did. 

He reached the guard rail of the bridge and placed his arms on the cool metal. It was so peaceful here. He looked down at the rushing water below and sighed. He fished out his phone from his pocket, ignoring the tons of missed calls and texts from worried friends and family. He felt a drop of regret, but it was quickly swallowed by the ocean of determination that had been growing in him ever since the first dream he had of him jumping from a ledge. 

He tapped on Mark's contact and called him. Not even half a ring later Mark picked up the phone. There was a moment where nobody said anything. 

"Jack? Are you there? Please, please be there." His voice wasn't anything Jack had heard before, and not in a good way. He wondered what had Mark so sad. It couldn't have been him could it? Jack seriously doubted that, Mark probably never liked him. Despite his thoughts, Jack answered. 

"Y-yeah." He cleared his throat and repeated it more confidently. "Yeah, Mark. I'm here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hope this chapter was good. Give me good feedback if you want, I really appreciate it. Also tell me what you think will happen next and what you want to happen. Just so you know, Jacksepticeye is one of my favorite YouTubers and I don't actually believe the thoughts he thinks in this chapter. It was just to advance the plot. Hope you enjoy!


	7. Chapter 7

Jack didn't know what to do about this situation. He didn't know what he was going to say to Mark after calling; he didn't even think Mark would answer. He stood still, as if moving even a little bit would shatter the very fragile ground both he and Mark stood on. It would be so easy for Mark to start yelling at him or, even worse, just hang up before he could say anything. He stood there, paralyzed with fear for a few moments before gathering his scattered thoughts.

"M-Mark I... I'm so fuckin' sorry. I really didn't mean wh-" he was cut off by Mark.

"Jack it's fine you were obviously in pain and you just wanted space." Mark got half of that right. Jack _was_ in pain, but he didn't want his space. What he wanted was Mark; he wanted to feel the warmth he radiated along with the feeling of safety, he wanted hugs and kisses, the cheesy romantic stuff. He just wanted Marks love. Jack somewhat violently shoved those thoughts away for now. Mark wasn't going to love Jack. _Ever._ "Besides, if I was a better friend, I would've-" It was Jack's turn to interrupt.

"No! No, Mark you were- you are- a great friend. It was just I overreacted. I'm sorry." Jack sighed. Before Mark could talk, he spoke up again. "But while apologizing was one of my reasons for calling, it wasn't my only one." Now was probably the last chance Jack would ever have to tell Mark his feelings. Jack closed his eyes, focusing on slowing his fast beating heart.

 

"Before I tell you, I need to say some other stuff. I'm so sorry. Not for our fight, but what I'm gonna do." Mark tried to interject but Jack continued speaking. "I just really need you to know none of this was your fault, not directly. I'm sorry, Mark, so fuckin sorry." 

"Jack, wh-what are you talking about? What are you going to do?" Mark said, panic creeping into his voice and quickly filling his lungs. Jack smiled sadly at hearing Mark. Hearing his friend worry about something as insignificant as Jack just went to show how great of a person he was. It was one of the things Jack loved most about Mark.

"Mark, I know you don't- nor will- feel the same, but I've felt this way for a while now. I just, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Mark." A sob escaped Jack's mouth. He fought to keep the tears from overwhelming his eyes, but failed. The tears climbed out and rolled down his cheeks. Actually admitting it to Mark out loud, knowing the inevitable result would be his broken heart followed by no feelings at all, was much harder than dealing with his pain of not being with Markin that way.

"Jack? What are you sorry for? What are you doing?" Mark said, feeling more and more dread replace the panic inside him, but both steadily rising. After one more pained whimper, Jack let out a humorless chuckle.

"This would be the part of most stories where the character of the story would tell the love interest their love for them, then they would get together and live happily ever after and ride off into the sunset and all that other shit, but I know that's not going to happen with me. Mark... I love you. I'm sorry. I never wanted to fall for you, and I know you don't love me back, but I just needed to tell you before I do this. I'm sorry." About halfway through, Jack climbed onto the other side of the rail and looked down. His tears fell off his face, quickly being swallowed up be the roaring water.

"W-What? Jack, what are you going to do. Where are you, let me come pick you up before you do something you'll regret. P-please, Sean." Mark pleaded. Jack just ignored the use of his real name, just responding to what he said and didn't say. The fact that Mark hadn't miraculously said "I love you, too" hurt Jack, but what had he expected. How could Mark ever love something as stupid, insignificant, ugly, broken and disgusting as Jack? (Wow, that was a little harsh for me to write).

Jack sighed before telling Mark his location. "Something I'll regret? I can't regret anything if I'm dead! I'm sorry Mark. I really am, but I can't do this. I can't even tell you which hurts more; being around you knowing you'll never want anything more than friendship with you or being away from you knowing you could easily go out and get any goddamn girl you want and they'd probably make you 100 times happier than I could ever make you. A few nanoseconds of physical pain is nothing compared to the hours, days even, that I spent hurting emotionally." 

"Jack, p-please don't do this. I-I do love you, Jack! Please, j-just tell me where you are. Please. I love you! I do. Don't do it, Sean, please. Where are you?" Mark pleaded. Jack laughed again. There was no way in any universe Mark could love him. 

"I'm at the bridge near the coffee shop you like to go to. But Mark, if you think lying to me is going to stop, your wrong. Mark, please believe me. It isn't you fault. You just keep being so fucking amazing and you'll find ten replacements for me and the perfect girl for you, who would be better than me in every way, in no time." Jack said. Mark's mind froze while his body rushed to where Jack was, like he was in robot mode. 

"No, Jack, please don't do it. I don't want that, I only want you. Please, believe me, Sean." Mark said, now crying as he ran to where Jack was. If he could keep stalling, he could get there in time to save him.

"Mark, please. Stop. I know you don't love me. Just... Stop. Good bye." Jack pressed the end call button and put the phone on the ground as just down the street Mark ran towards him. It didn't matter, though. Mark watched in horror as Jack jumped. He sank to his knees and buried his face in his hands. He didn't even hear the screaming or the commotion around him; all he could focus on was the new pain that washed over his heart and filled his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this chapter is a good as the rest, but tell me what you think. Don't be afraid to be honest. Also tell me what you want to happen or what you think will happen next. Encouragement keeps me motivated. Hope you enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know much about suicide watch, so I don't know how accurate this is. Hope you like this chapter, so enjoy!

Nobody was allowed in Jack's room once he was admitted into the hospital; he didn't want them there. He knew there were people out there, like his family that had flown here as soon as they heard the news, Bob, Wade and Felix.

And Mark.

He was the main reason he wasn't letting anyone in. He knew he would barely be able to handle his family's disappointed stares, but one look, even slightly disappointed, from Mark would break his already damaged heart. He wouldn't be able to stand it.

The doctors had said he was physically fine, except for a fractured rib, a few scratches, some bruises and other minor injuries. They said he was lucky to be alive, let alone nearly unscathed. But he was immediately put on suicide watch. He was moved to a new room where everything that was deemed 'too dangerous' was taken out. Probably for a good reason, as soon as he was out, he planned on doing a more surefire tactic. He was already thinking of ways to do it now.

Being nearly alone for 30 hours gave him very little things to do. His choices were either coloring, watching t.v- they didn't even have cable! WTF. -sleeping or thinking. He tried to do the other stuff to keep his mind from thinking, but he couldn't focus long enough on anything before his mind reverted back to the bad thoughts and he couldn't sleep ~~without the nightmares.~~  Or, even worse, the thoughts about what happened before he jumped. More specifically, his phone call with Mark. More specifically, Mark himself.

The thoughts about Mark can be very drastically different, ranging from happy ones to sad ones to angry ones. Sometimes he thought about how Mark said he loved him back, but that ~~usually~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~always ended with the rest of his mind screaming at him that it was a lie. Other times, Jack would fantasize about having a happy, domestic life with the other man, but then the rest of his mind would (metaphorically) scoff, tell him how stupid he was and that it would never happen. Once in a while, his mind would allow a minuscule fraction, for brief moment, to hope for Mark and believe what he said, but then the rest of his mind would destroy that thought and beat it until it formed into all the other thoughts saying it would never happen. ~~~~

The sound of the door gently closing ripped him out of his thoughts. He whipped his head up to see who it was and was greeted by a peppy-looking nurse. She had short red hair and forest green eyes that seemed to pop right out. Freckles were sprinkled all over her nose and cheeks. She was carrying a tray of food in her small hands, piled with bland mashed potatoes and unappealing chicken. Two pills laying parallel to each other were set right next to a glass of water. He hadn't realized how thirsty he was until he had water in front of him. She set the tray down in front of him and smiled, meant to comfort Jack, but doing nothing. Nothing could comfort him when he was like this.

"Eat up." The nurse said sweetly. Jack grumbled a 'not hungry' but grabbed the water and guzzled it, only pausing to slip the pills into his mouth. The nurse, though, would not take his answer to the food. "No, you need to eat. If I have to force you to eat it, just know, I am not afraid to sit on you and force feed you." Her face was completely stern and serious, but a glint in her eye told Jack she was half-joking. 

He picked up the fork and slowly shoveled the grime they called food into his mouth, grimacing as he swallowed the first bite, but continuing until he couldn't anyways. The red-headed nurse woke up the other nurse who had fallen asleep in a chair and was supposed to be watching him. Luckily, Jack didn't even notice she had fallen asleep. The nurse in the chairs got up and walked out of the room as the red-headed nurse sat in the chair.

"So, Sean, why are you here?" The nurse questioned. Jack's scoffed at the answer.

"Because God is a fucking dick and delt me a bad hand." He said. The nurse rolled her eyes and cracked a small smile.

"No, I meant, what made you jump." She pressed.

"Reasons." Jack replied. He knew he was being difficult, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. It wasn't because he didn't want to tell her, he couldn't care less who knew why he jumped, it was just that he didn't know how  _Mark_ would feel if everyone knew he was the reason Jack had jumped.

"And those reasons are?" She continued pressing for an answer. Her smile had faded and her eyebrows were cocked up in curiosity.

"Personal." He answered simply. The woman sighed, but mostly just out of frustration.

"You," she said "are one of the most difficult patients I've had."

"I'm sure _that's_  not true." He snorted. Surprisingly, he felt better. Apparently, all he needed was some normal interaction with another person where he wasn't constantly reminded of where he was, why he was there or a certain someone who he had fallen for. The nurse giggled then held out here petite hand.

"The name's Dawn. And already know yours, so no need to introduce yourself." Jack tentatively grabbed her hand and shook it. They spent the next hour talking, nothing said about why he was here or what happened to get him there.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

A comfortable silence filled the room as Jack layed in the bed. He was calm. Not (as) sad, not angry, not happy or excited. Just calm. Dawn was reading a book in a very uncomfortable looking position. Four hours have passed since she had came and he was glad that she came. They had spent the majority of it getting to know each other. She had been the first person to comfort him successfully, but mainly because Jack had kept his depression a secret from his friends and only his close family knew. Only his family had been there during his high school years, they had seen him be broken down until he was barely still standing. They had helped him before, they'd gladly do it again. With each passing moment, he became the tiniest bit more confident in at least seeing his family.

"Hey, Dawn? I think I'd like to see my family now."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I just wanted to thank you all for all the support, so here; an update on the story that's not on a Saturday! Yay! Hope you enjoy!

"Really? Are you sure?" She asked excitedly. Jack hesitated. Did he really want to talk to his family, his friends? To Mark? One part of his brain wanted to, it longed to talk to his family, and to have something to do other than to sit there and stew in his own thoughts, which was probably the worst thing he should be doing right now. Another part didn't want to. That part was scared of the disappointment that he knew would be etched into their faces, of the sadness hidden behind their eyes, knowing _he_ was the reason they were there. The last part knew they would need closure before he tried again, and he planned to do it as soon as he could. He wanted to try a more efficient way, one that would kill him quickly and with little mess for anyone  to clean up.

Unfortunately, that was most of his thoughts, so he slowly nodded his head. Dawn disappeared out the door and after about a minute he heard her explaining how they could only see him one at a time. He took deep breaths, trying to clam the raging ocean that was his stomach, trying to keep down the food he had eaten. He stared down at his hands, looking away from the door.

"Jack!" A voice seemed to scream. He jumped straight out of his skin. Before he could even look up to see who it was, he was practically tackled. The woman, who he now recognized as his mom, had her face barried in his neck and her shoulders were slightly shaking. Soft crying could be heard in between his mothers words.

"Oh, my baby. Oh my god, I'm so glad you're okay. Oh my god, I thought I'd lost you." She sobbed into his ear. Jack tentatively wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, mumbling apologies into her hair. He didn't even realize he was crying until his mother pulled back and wiped the tears off of his face.

"Sshh, baby. It's okay." After they had both calmed down a little, Jack felt a sharp sting on his cheek and a slapping sound echoed through the room.

"OH MY GOD JACK, I ALMOST LOST YOU! DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN, YOU HEAR?!" She screamed. Jack smiled, he hadn't realized how much he missed his mother, his family. Eventually, his mother left and, one after the other, his other family members rushed in. His dad, then his siblings, all of the, fighting to get through the door first. His smiled at them. Some things never change. After getting through his family, his friends filed in. Felix, Bob, Wade, Ken, and others. Finally, everyone but the one person who Jack needed to see had come and visited him. After five minutes of waiting, Jack started feeling sad again.

Of course Mark wouldn't want to see him. Mark was probably disgusted with him and never wanted anything to do with him. He knew Jack's secret now. Jack wondered how long it would take until Mark announced it on Twitter or something, at least Mark had had the decency to wait until he was out of the hospital. He should start preparing, once Mark was gone, he knew it was only a matter of time before he couldn't be saved, that he will have lost the will to survive. Everything around him was seeming to crumble, and just when he accepted Mark probable despise of him, he heard a voice from the doorway, the deep sound cutting through the silence of the room like a machete.

"Hey Jack." Mark said, tears brimming in his eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW this takes place in between when Bob comes out of the room and Mark enters.  
> Yay! It's finally happened! The thing we've all been waiting for! Hope you enjoy.

Mark didn't know how long he paced in the waiting room. He still didn't know what he was going to say when he went in Jack's room. He's had nearly two(ish) days to think about what he was going to say and he _still_  had nothing. Whatever he was going to say, he'd better think of it fast. He was the last person to visit Jack.

Mark hated this. The entire situation. The fact that Jack was here, the sullen mood the seemed to hng there like a permanent cloud above everyone's heads, the fact he was the reason Jack jumped. That hurt the most. He had been so absorbed in not letting anyone see his feelings he didn't notice his... What? What was Jack to him now? He didn't know if Jack was still his friend. Mark knew they both wanted more, or at least he did. He didn't know if Jack did anymore. Maybe they could be just friends. What if Jack never wanted to see him again? Mark somewhat violently shoved that thought out of his head. Self-pity was the reason they were in this mess in the first place.

Mark plopped down in the same uncomfortable chair he had been sitting in for the time he was here. He hadn't slept in a days. With everything that happened and the guilt he couldn't sleep, not to mention if he did catch the rare fleeting moments where he could fall asleep, the nightmares. He couldn't get the picture of Jack jumping off the bridge out of his mind. The memory played over and over in his mind like a record.

The door to Jack's room opened and he looked up. Bob walked out, looking grim-faced. Mark instantly filled with worry. His friend lumberered over to him, towering over the other man. He sat down next to the already sitting figure.

"Is he okay?" Mark asked in a small voice. He closed his eyes, fighting tears and fear.

Bob sighed. "Go see for your self." Mark stayed frozen in his seat. Bob clamped his huge hand down in Mark's shoulder, Making him jump.

"Mark, I don't know what happened between you and him, but you really need to go see him." Mark looked up staring at Bob fearfully.

" I can't." He said so quietly he didn't know if Bob heard him at first. Bob sighed again.

"What happened between you two?"  Mark spilled it all. He told about his and Jack's falling out, the call before he jumped, Mark's  feelings and Jack's feelings, their admissions of their feelings to each other, Mark's thoughts about, everything. By the end, he was in tears. He looked up at Bob, only to see a small hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Fucking finally." Bob said. Mark cocked his eyebrow in confusion and made a face of surprise. Bob continued to clarify. "I already knew your feelings. You explained in a Drunk Minecraft video. We didn't end up posting it, so don't worry. Then, Jack has literally been the most obvious person, like, ever. I think the only way he could have been more obvious was if he came right out, no pun intended, and said 'Hey, Mark, I love you as in more than a friend way'. It was pretty fucking pathetic of you two, to be honest." Mark felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Had he really been that oblivious?

"What are you waiting for? Go and get you fucking ass in there and tell him until he believes you." Mark jumped about three feet in the air. He didn't even notice Felix sit down on the other side of him. He nearly let out a not-so-manly shriek, but managed to keep it in. Mark didn't know how long Felix had been there or how much he heard, but he didn't care. Mark shot out of his chair and walked over to Jack's room. He leaned on the door frame and looked at Jack looking down at his lap. Mark felt tears in his eyes seeing his friend so sad.

"Hey, Jack." He said, cutting through the silence. Jack looked up at him in wonder, and Mark didn't, he _couldn't_ resist. He didn't even remember walking over to Jack's side. All he remembers is Jack's slightly chapped lips against his own and the years of pent up emotions filling the kiss. They were both caught up in the kiss they didn't even notice Bob, Felix and Wade in the doorway closing the door quietly, smiling at their very idiotic and oblivious friends.

When they finally came up for air, they both were crying, tears of happiness? Sadness? Their own stupidity? Disbelief? Who knows. Mark rested his forehead against Jack's, whispering loving words and sweet nothings against his lips.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter! Expect the last one to happen either tomorrow or Monday, I can't leave it like this. Don't worry, there'll be happy ending! Have a good day!

Eventually, the nurses forced Mark to leave. It took ten minutes to get Jack and Mark to let go of each other, and even then they had to pry them apart. Everyday, Mark visited the other man, talking about anything but the whole situation. Each day, Jack got a little bit more sad, if that was possible. Mark hadn't kissed him since that night.

They hadn't even talked about it, it was as if it had never even happened in the first place. Jack started to think that he had imagined the whole thing, like one of those realistic dreams. Or maybe He had finally gone completely crazy. What ever the reason, one thing was true in Jack's mind; he was a fucking idiot.

_You're so godamn stupid_

_Did you really think you had a chance? With_ Mark _?_

_Like he would ever actually care_

_He's probably disgusted with himself_

_But not as much as he is with you_

The thoughts were quickly filling his head, fogging up all other brain processes except those thoughts. The pain in his chest only seemed to be growing, his breathing was only getting harder and harder to do, and his throat seemed to be getting tighter. His whole body felt as if it was burning, burning the hottest in his chest.

As soon as he was out of here he was going to kill himself. He had already made up his mind, there would be no " him" by the end of the week. He was already thinking of what to say in his suicide notes and his last ever video. He decided that he wouldn't call Mark again this time; that's pretty much what happened last time that fucked it all up. All he wanted was Mark, was that too much too ask? Jack wanted to love Mark, not from a distance like he had been doing, but up close, and have Mark love him back just as much. But Jack knew that his fantasies weren't going to come true. After all, that's all they were. Fantasies.

_Yeah, those are impossible_

_As if Mark would ever love you_

_Your unloveable_

_You're ugly_

_You're weak_

_You're worthless_

Each voice sounded like someone close to him each one chipping away at the ashes and remains of his heart. Whether it was Felix or his mother or someone else, it was never Mark. Until it was only Mark.

_You're just a waste of space_

_You don't deserve to be alive_

_You should've died_

_The world would be better off without you_

_I'll be glad you're dead_

He was pulled out of his thoughts by a presence entering the room. Speak of the devil, it was Mark. He sighed internally, looking away before he could second guess his decision. Mark and Jack sat there, talking about everything they usually did, but Jack was so engrossed in his own thoughts he didn't realize Mark wasn't looking at him either.

"So, Jack..." Mark's voice was raspy, it was clear it was because of his fatigue. He cleared his throat, his voice going back to normal. "So, I know what happened the other day and I know we need to talk about it,  I just,"

Here it comes. The inevitable rejection he had been waiting for, the thing Jack was wishing so hard not to happen. He braced himself for impact, Whatever was left inside hi has about to be completely demolished.

"I don't want to do it here. I was going to wait until tomorrow when you got out and got back home. I just think it would be easier if we were somewhere familiar and didn't feel like someone  is breathing down our necks." Mark let out a dark chuckle.

Wait, what? This wasn't what Jack was expecting, he thought Mark was just going to tell him he didn't actually care and the kiss was just a spur of the moment thing or something. Jack just nodded dumbly, looking away from Mark. How had this all happened? How did he fall so completely and so hard for this near-perfect man, when he _knew_ that Mark wouldn't -couldn't love him back? How could he have tricked himself into thinking he had even the slightest chance with Mark.

A thick silence filled the air in the room, leaving both men alone with their thoughts. It was hot and suffocated and full of the things they both wanted to say, but it wasn't the right time or place. Maybe it never would be, but here and now, neither of them were ready to voice their thoughts, or hear the other's.

After who knows how long, Mark spoke, getting Jack's attention.

"I have to go now, Jack. I'll see you tomorrow." Jack nodded. He couldn't find the words to talk back with Mark. Mark hesitated in the door for a second, looking like he wanted to say something, but left without a word. Jack counted to 43 before he couldn't hold the tears in any longer and let them fall. The dread and sadness and the other emotions he felt were stronger than he'd ever felt before. The pain he was feeling right now was worse than anything he had ever experienced, worse than on the bridge, worse than realizing for the first time Mark couldn't love him, worse than realizing _no one_ could.

Jack's eyes were like a stormy sea, the tears waves powerful enough to sink ships. The sobs and loud, gasping breaths were gusts of wind, able to knock planes out of the sky. But nothing could be compared to the tragedy that was his emotions, his mind, _him._  He was broken more than the shipwrecks his tears could've caused and the plane crashes his sons made.

He was and always will be a wreck.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here you go! The final chapter. I hope everybody enjoyed my first work, and thank you all for the support and feedback through the story. Keep and eye out for future works. Feel free to give kudos and comments! =)

The moment Jack had been dreading was finally here. Going home. When he woke up from his usual sleep, filled to the brim of his thoughts and torturous visuals, the date practically slapped him. He was going home, where Mark was waiting.

Needless to say, he was nervous. He didn't know how his friends or his family would react to his... accident. Sure, they were nice in here, but that was only when they weren't alone and a nurse or someone could walk in at any moment. His mind immediately jumped to the worst case scenarios, the ones that wouldn't actually happen but his mind couldn't help but think it. It made his head hurt almost as much as his heart when he thought about all the different ways him coming home could go down.

Jack was grudgingly wheeled out of the hospital, mumbling curses and muttering along the way about how he could still walk. He was picked up by his sister who pulled him into a hug as soon as she saw him. The whole ride home he was lectured on how he should never ever try that again. Yeah, right. As if that's going to happen.but his sister talking was mere background noise in his head compared to his thoughts of Mark. The endless shouting of  _hehatesyouhehatesyouhehatesyou_ reverberated in his head. His heart was beating so loudly he wouldn't be surprised if his sister noticed.

When they pulled up, everyone Jack knew rushed out to meet him, enveloping him in a bear hug before he even got out. It was so warm and inviting, it almost made him doubt the next attempt. Almost. When he got inside of his apartment, he was bombarded with an assortment of balloons and streamers, confetti sprinkled throughout the room, and a sign that said 'Welcome Home!!!' was hanging above a cake on the dining room table. Just looking at the cake made him want to drool. Besides, a cake is exactly what he wanted to have as a final meal. Everyone around him had smiles, but Jack knew facial expressions like the back of his hand. He could tell most of his family members were wearing plastered on smiles, the ones that looked as if they were silently pleading for something, and Jack was pretty sure he knew what that thing was. 

The rest of the evening was a blur of emotions and blurbs of memories he won't have long to enjoy, and gifts he probably won't ever use sitting beside him on the table. He had caught glimpses of Mark once and a while, but he was quickly swallowed up by yet another cousin or aunt that finally got the chance to talk with him, catch up with. But Jack knew that it was practically code for asking if he was alright and wanting to know  every detail of his depression. Once everyone had left with their final goodbyes, he was left to pack up most of the decorations. He took the streamer down and got out the broom to sweep the floor, but once he turned around again, someone was in his way. He nearly screamed before he saw who it was.

"Hey, Jack" Mark said quietly, almost down to a whisper. Jack gulped hard, and fought the mixed feelings that bubbled up inside of him. He looked away, his eyes disobeying his wishes and filling with tears. This was it. This  would be the last nail in his coffin.

"Hey, Mark. How are you?"Jack said. It was a laughable question, really; Mark was not at all fine. He had dark bags under his eyes and his hair. don't even get him started on Mark's hair. It was stringy and obviously hadn't been washed in days. He looked almost as bad as Jack was sure he did, but Jack refused to believe any of it was his doing.

"I'm fine. How're you?" Mark questioned. Jack almost laughed at that. Mark was not fine, and neither was Jack.

"I'll tell you the truth, if you tell me it." Jack replied. Mark sighed and looked away for a moment, gathering his thoughts, before turning back to Jack. He wiped a hand over his face before speaking.

"I've been really worried about you Jack."  _Lies_

"I was so close to getting to you on the bridge,"  _More Lies_

"And I can't help feeling it was all my fault."  _Don't believe him_

"If I had been just a little bit faster, I could've saved you,"  _He can't be telling the truth_

"And seeing you jump, it was devastating,"  _He_ _just_ can't _be_

"Seeing someone you love hurting so bad they want to die,"  _He doesn't love you_

"It's heart breaking."  _He'll never love you_

"Then, when you were in the hospital, all I could think about was how long you had been keeping it all in, everything you've been feeling,"  _He can't love you_

"And if I hadn't had my head so far up my ass, I could've seen it. I could've stopped it"

"I just...I just need you to know how much I love you."  _NO_

"I love you. I love you. I love you so much, Jack. I love yo-" After the long-winded explanation, Jack couldn't take it, and he cut Mark off in the middle of his word.

"STOP IT! Please, Mark. Just, Stop. Please don't play with my emotions like that. I know you don't love me, but it's okay." It wasn't really, not at all. Maybe in some other dimension, he and Mark could live happily ever after. "You don't have to pretend. I don't want you to feel obligated to stay with me just because I tried to kill myself, okay? It wasn't the fact that you don't love me that had me try to kill myself, at least, not completely. It was also how you could be so close to me, yet still be unobtainable. It's like dangling a dog treat in front of a dog, but not letting him eat it."

"Jack, I  _do_ love you. Please,  _please_ , believe me. I love you." And with that, Mark leaned in for a kiss. Jack immediately kissed back, and Mark pushed him back against the wall. Simple, little 'I love yous' were exchanged in between the fervent kisses, so much so that Jack had little choice  _not_ to believe the other man. The voices just kept getting smaller and more distant with each message or kiss. Eventually, Mark pulled away, just resting his head on Jack's.

"Please believe me." Mark uttered. It was as if a child was begging for their parent to believe their outlandish story. The words were quickly followed by another kiss, but this one was less desperate and more... loving. And for the first time in a long, long time, Jack felt not only hope, but happiness. And so, Jack smiled and replied with

"I do"


End file.
